


Disillusioned

by annabeth_at_the_helm



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14837813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annabeth_at_the_helm/pseuds/annabeth_at_the_helm
Summary: Random Hawkeye contemplations...





	Disillusioned

**Author's Note:**

> /emphasis/; written for Raven's five minute challenge, "Nobody ever--"; written in 4 minutes 53 seconds

Nobody ever intends to die in a war. Nobody plans getting themselves into some sort of violent conflict, but it keeps happening, and no one ever seems to learn from their mistakes.

I'm so damn sick of seeing these kids coming in here, covered in shrapnel, paying me in sickening currency: their blood, their limbs, their sanity and their lives...

If he's the only reason that I can do this, I won't look back.

And even if going forward is the worst thing I could do, I'm going to do it.

If he's the only person that can annihilate the pain for a few moments, then I'll take it. It's better than gin, anyway, and maybe -- just maybe -- if I'm in with him, I'll be in with the one who can save the children that come through here on this crimson assembly line.

And so, if I have to walk back into that operating room, if I have to perform careful but much-too-fast surgery on all of those kids that aren't old enough to vote -- kids who remind me of Radar sometimes -- then I know what I'm going to do afterwards.

I'm going to take a walk straight to the chaplain's tent, and I'm going to willingly commit a sin -- I'm going to seduce him.

God help me, because that seduction might be the only thing that preserves my sanity.

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> for iolanthe, RIP love
> 
> ++  
> Hawkeye: Trapper went home, they kept coming. Henry got killed, and they kept coming. Wherever they come from from, they'll never run out.


End file.
